Wayfaring Strangers

The trio began the journey back to the ship at first light. Edie seemed perfectly normal, given that she had been comatose for hours.The way seemed easier than on the trip out, but there was a distinct scent of failure in the group. They had left the ship as four, and were returning as three.

"It's been a long time since I've felt this shitty." Spunk admitted to the other two as they walked in silence. "I just... I expected it to work."

"We all did." Harold said, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "What a life to live. To just want to be left in peace. In Old Earth times, he could've easily been a monk. If he had just been born into some other species."

"My father would say, 'all is as god wills it.'" Edie said, trailing behind them, "But this sucks."

Spunk barked a harsh laugh. "Indeed it does, Edie. Indeed it does."

The vegetation was growing dense, an indication to Spunk that they were nearing the ship and the next point of their journey.

"Spunk?" Edie asked, her voice timid and soft. "I..." She trailed off. Her start of the sentence was barely audible. "I want to go home. To Epsilon Five."

"We will." Spunk assured her. "Just a quick stop in --"

"No, I want to go home." She emphasized the words more forcefully. "I don't want to stop anywhere else."

"Oh." Spunk said, confused. "Are you... are you sure?"

Harold and Spunk exchanged worried looks. A pregnant missionary would not be received well by her father upon her return.

"Yes." She said, with the resolve of a seasoned warrior.

"Okay." Spunk agreed. "Home it is, then. We're probably only an hour or so from the ship."

The trio continued their walk in silence, the pending trip home weighing heavily on their minds. The jungle began to clear in front of them when they began hearing the steady thump thump of one of those creatures. The crankituns.

"Sounds like our dildo-headed dinosaur friend is coming back for more." Harold remarked. "There's the ship. Up ahead."

"Do you think we'll get to see another one?" Edie asked. Her voice was filled with wonder and awe.

"Maybe. Hopefully from the safety of the ship." Spunk said. "I'm not entirely sure that those creatures are as peaceful as Saffold made it out to be."

"You can say that again. Those things freak me out." Harold said.

The trio broke free of the jungle and into the small tree-gap clearing where the ship had landed. It looked undisturbed, exactly as they had left it.

"Amalyn? Status report." Spunk spoke into his GPS unit. Now that they were closer, he was sure there was a solid connection between him and the ship.

"All systems operational." Amalyn's cheery voice came through the speaker on the GPS unit.

"Please start the engine, Amalyn." Spunk said into his wrist. A worried look crossed his face. The thump thump of the crankitun was growing louder, and Spunk was sure it sounded like the creature was running, not ambling along peacefully as it had been the day before.

The growl of the spaceship's engine filled the clearing with a comforting hum. Spunk caught Harold looking over his shoulder nervously.

"To the ship, then." Spunk encouraged them waving his hands. "Let's get off this planet before those dildo monsters kill us."

"I don't think they'd hurt anyone." Edie said as she grabbed the handhold up to the ship's doorstep. "They seem like gentle giants."

"Better safe than sorry." Spunk said. Harold followed Edie as the thumps grew even louder. Whatever it was, it was close. Spunk grabbed the handhold and pulled himself up as well. "We can always watch with the engines ready to launch." Spunk suggested. "No harm in that."

Thump thump. Thump thump thump. The hoofbeats grew into a thunderous roar as the three humans crowded around the door, waiting to see what horror was headed their way. Maybe it was some other monstrous being? Who knew?

Spunk had a gnawing feeling that they should probably just go, but he couldn't for the life of him open his mouth to give the order. It would only take a few words to Amalyn, but curiosity drove him to maintain his silence, waiting and watching with an old friend and a new.

Thump thump thump clatter thump. The thumping began to have to sharpness to it, and Spunk knew that it was close. It was in the jungle. Ahead, he could see the trees moving to accommodate its mass. Their tops waved in the absence of wind, and Spunk knew they would soon see their pursuer.

"Here it comes." Harold said. Spunk could feel the man tense against his shoulder. Spunk knew this trip had been a challenge for his friend, with children and a wife at home to care for. He was glad to be on the way home. Maybe I should launch us a safe distance, Spunk thought, but then it was too late.

Like clouds parting to show the way into heaven, trees separated in front of the ship as one of the large, white, penis-headed, ball-chinned dinosaurs crashed its way into the clearing. Atop its bare back was a blue, butt naked Neval, holding reins in his left hand and raising his right hand victoriously. Was that Saffold?

"Saffold!" Edie cried and shoved the two men out of the way so that she could rush out to meet him. "You're alive! Thank god!"

"Edie, wait!" Spunk said, but she wasn't listening.

"Goddamnit." Harold squawked as he, too, pushed his way past Spunk. "How does she know it's ghost boy? Oh wait. She doesn't. God damned kids." He jogged after her.

Spunk followed, anxious but reasonably sure, like Edie, that the naked blue lizard man atop the penis dinosaur was indeed Saffold.

"Edie!" The voice called from atop the dinosaur. With an unnerving amount of grace, the Neval swung his massive blue leg over the dinosaur's hump and slid down its side. They must not have testicles, Spunk decided, because that looks like it would fucking hurt.

Edie slowed as she neared the giant penis beast, and Spunk wondered if it was out of a healthy respect for something that could squash her, or if she was simply nervous at the lizard-man's nakedness. Probably a little bit of both, Spunk decided.

"I'm so glad it worked!" Edie cried as the Neval drew closer. Before he could object, Edie wrapped her dainty little arms around him in a hug. She whispered something inaudible to Spunk to the man, who wrapped his arms around her in return.

"Welcome back to your normal form." Harold said gruffly, extending a hand to the man as he released Edie from the hug. "Glad to have you back on board. And maybe get to know you a little better."

"Thank you." Saffold's voice was different in physical form. Deeper but softer. More refined. "I, too, am glad that it worked."

"What was it like?" Spunk asked as he closed the distance to the trio. "Do you remember anything?"

"I do." Saffold said. His slitted eyes met Spunk's, and despite their alien nature, Spunk found himself unafraid. Not like the first time they had met. "But I cannot share. Suffice to say that I had a vision. A vision of our elders and this planet and... I must think on what to do." The man's voice held knowledge beyond his years, and Spunk felt a shiver crawl up his arms. He didn't like the supernatural. Not one bit.

"You must tell me more." Edie said, her voice filled with wonder. "But you also must put some clothes on."

"I may, and I will. Allow me to release Chunk over here, and then we can journey to our next stop?"

"We're headed home. Unless..." Spunk trailed off with eyebrows raised at Edie. She looked at him confidently.

"Home. No procedure. I'm ready to talk to my father."

"Home it is then." Spunk said.

The trio of humans watched as Saffold's shiny blue butt sauntered away from them towards the magnificent white penis-beast. It leaned its head down to him until its chin-balls rested softly on the packed earth below. Saffold reached up into the beast's mouth and pulled out the stick that had served as a bit, wrapping the reins made of vines around it. He patted the beast's head and spoke to it softly, well out of the hearing capabilities of Spunk, Edie, or Harold.

Saffold stepped back from the beast and waved at it. It lifted its head, its penis horn glinting in the afternoon sun as it turned gently and began ambling back towards the jungle at a normal paced. They all watched it go. Spunk realized that even the tail looked phallic to him. Maybe he just needed to get laid.

"Ready, then?" Spunk asked as Saffold returned to the group.

"Yes. To Epsilon Five. And thank you, Spunk." Saffold met his eyes with sincere gratitude. "You have gone well above and beyond in your duties, and we did not exactly meet on the best of terms. You are a good person, and I owe you my life."

"I have a feeling that you would act similarly, if put in the same situation." Spunk said. "But thank you for your kind words. Let's get home before your brethren blow up my planet."

"You can say that again." Harold muttered. "June will kill me if someone blows up Epsilon Five." He grinned and winked at Spunk. "She loves that damn store of yours."

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