The Effectiveness of Law Enforcement

“I’d like to file a missing persons report.” Jacob Reedy said wearily as he finally made it through the line in the police department’s waiting area. Apparently, everyone and their brother had chosen this night to walk in with fantastic pictures of the supposed destruction of their houses by those ravaging centaurs roaming the fields.

Everyone knew it was a load of shit. If anything, the humans had been more violent towards the general creatures of the veil than they had been towards the humans. From the few encounters Jacob had, it had seemed that those creatures were not really caring what the humans did, as long as they didn’t get hurt by it. The few gnomes present in his garden had left when he had calmly pointed out that they were not allowed to use his vegetables as surrogate footballs. The fairy like creatures fornicating in front of his television when he had walked in the door earlier had promptly disappeared, leaving his pornographic video that was in the DVD player on, normal speed and very, very loud volume.

“Is this a serious request?” The older, scowling woman looked up at him, equally weary, from the desk where she had been stationed for what had seemed like forever.

“Yes. My fifteen year old daughter has been missing since Friday.”

“And you’re reporting it now?” The woman asked with raised eyebrows.

“I had assumed that she was with her mother – we’re recently divorced – for the weekend. Her mother assumed that she was with me. She had called both of us to tell us this, and she hasn’t contacted either of us since. We realized on Monday.”

“Its Wednesday – early Wednesday, but Wednesday.” The woman continued, skeptically.

“My ex-wife had to work a double shift, and we decided to call all of the friends that our daughter has before reporting it. I just finished talking to the last person, and headed down here right away.” Jacob explained. He had actually thought his ex had gone down to the station immediately after their conversation – but they both knew that their daughter knew how to take care of herself.

“I see. Well, I’ll need her full name, where she was last seen, and other information. Let me call another officer over to help you. I’m sure you understand.”

“Absolutely.” Jacob agreed. He would rather be served by another officer than chance having this angry crowd of insurance frauds set upon him for requesting genuine help for the local police department.

Not an hour later, Jacob had filed his claim, and felt no better about his daughter’s mysterious disappearance. He had run away from home when he was younger, but it had only been for a few days before he sucked up his guilt and fear, and could no longer take the bus ride he was on, and had phoned home for a wire transfer to buy another ticket to get back home. It had not been planned well, and had been the source of much humor as the distance between the years grew farther and farther apart. In fact, his family – the larger family – had often joked with his daughter about what not to do when she was going to run away. Probably not the smartest thing to let them do, in hindsight.

As Jacob Reedy pulled out of the police station and started his ride home reluctantly, for he wanted to stay for any news of his daughter. All patrols had been put on alert, but they were also on basically militia and riot alert against the various creatures that inhabited the night, as well as a few straggler monkey chases. And that, unfortunately, meant that if he was going to find his daughter alive and well, he might just have to do all of the dirty work himself.

Fifteen minutes later, a girl who looked like she had been through hell and back straggled into the office of the police station in Sedona. Dirty, unkempt, and reeking of what smelled like mold and old basement, the girl was pale and exhausted, and attached to her was a chattering, five inch tall, blue man with wings, belting out horribly out of tune sixties love songs at the top of his tiny little lungs.

The scowling woman who had greeted Jacob Reedy picked up the phone, flipping through reports to find the one that had just been given to her by the recording officer. She motioned to Dina to come closer, and asked quietly,

“Dina Reedy?”

Dina nodded, agreeing with that statement. “I’d like to report a kidnapping.” Dina added as the woman dialed the phone. “Thanks to my, erm, savior, here on my shoulder…” Dina paused, cringing as the little blue man reached a high note and squeaked, “I successfully escaped.”

“Your daughter just waltzed in here, looking like hell, with a bellowing fairy on her shoulder, sir. You might want to come pick her up.” The woman hung up without waiting for a response from Jacob Reedy and calmly placed the phone on the receiver. “Alright. Let’s hear it, young lady.”

Dina opened her mouth, then closed it as Broon started an almost unrecognizable rendition of “Be My Baby”. She sighed and reached up to pick Broon up. “Broon, darling?” She asked sweetly as he struggled against the might of her index finger and thumb.

“Yes, oh sweet muffin cakes?” The man responded, obviously annoyed at his current position, which provided a less than dignified position from which to seduce her.

“Shut. Up. Right. Now. Or I will rip off your wings with my teeth and skewer you on a pole to roast you over a fire and feed you to my pet cat.”

“As you wish, oh princess of my beating heart.” Broon nodded his consent, downhearted and near tears, drooping uselessly in Dina’s hand. She almost – almost! – felt bad.

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