The Den

What do you call a group of vampires meeting in a secret place to discuss their devious plans? Referring to it as a den, it is almost like an underground vampire cell, like terrorists, but much cooler with a little less of decapitation and more of that sexy vampire-biting thing. Terrorists aside, it was the first meeting of the newly renamed Rummy Club and they were currently suffering from a lack of attendance. It wasn’t that the others had not wanted to come, they were simply still barricaded into work or in their homes. Howler monkeys with projectile feces, stones, and assorted not so pleasant objects could tend to deter people from reaching their destinations. Even vampires.

Howler monkeys aside, the original members of the Rummy club mentioned in the previous discussion had all managed to make it. Herman, for it was his house, Rachel, for she was the advisor and informant regarding Charlie Johnson, Gretel, and two of the non-vocal members mentioned, Sammi and Jerry, had all made it. Sammi had, unfortunately, suffered briefly when a stray banana peel had struck her elbow, causing her to dash to the nearest source of cover from the tree tops.

Maybe we should speak about the monkeys. Needless to say, Green Tech had rounded up a few of them. The rest had spread out, moving like deadly, silent assassins to invade even the farthest point of existence in Sedona. If there were trees, there was bound to be a monkey in them. The news had called it a ‘fiasco’, the newspaper had some great pictures with accompanying corny captions, and it was the talk of the town. People walking into stores were handed wash cloths with which to wipe the various products which the monkeys had taken from dumpsters, off of their faces. Even the more outspoken environmentalists in the town were taking advantage of the situation, standing in the storefronts, clean, explaining that if people recycled or processed food waste and paper products, they wouldn’t have it sticking to them.

Green Tech had issued an official apology to the town, explaining that they had not thought that the drugs that were being injected into the monkeys had given them a penchant for revenge and an extra dose of the sly, cunning attitude to disperse so efficiently. It was, in effect, a minor invasion. The drugs had worked so well (unofficially, of course) that the monkeys could both avoid and sometimes catch the tranquilizer darts being shot at them.

Back to the vampires. Because there were so few present, the real names and positions of the vampires becomes an important part of their discussion. And so, we will give true identity to these fellows.

Herman, the leader of the den of vampires appealing for societal acceptance, was known to the whole wide world as the bartender of Grangie’s Bar. Jacob Reedy, a personal fan of the re-runs of The Munsters had chosen his name as Herman for that exact reason.

Rachel’s true name was Jessie Simons, and she worked for Herman/Jacob, although she was not brought into the great, dark underworld by his hands. Instead, it was merely coincidence that she was looking for a night job. He was hiring.

Jerry and Sammi were a couple whom we have already introduced to the general knowledge pool. Freshly residents, Jack and Rose Halis were the true identities of these two. Still being in the new-marriage stage, the couple had gone to the club meetings on the recommendation of their leader at the University they used to attend, and had hit it off great with the others. Of course, that may have been because, the majority of time spent in club meetings, their hands or mouths were in close contact with some body part of the other.

Gretel, perhaps the most surprising of all identities, was not only fond of uncommon names, but also serving justice. Gretel served as the head judge of not only the town, but the county in which they resided. Her real identity, Judge Betty Peters, revealed a single mother of three step children. She had been turned as a result of a bad incident when she was young, which had forced her to pursue justice. She had married a widower, and had that same husband die a few months later, leaving her saddled with three normal children dying to know what was in the refrigerator under their step-mother’s bed.

Personal histories aside, the conversation was completely normal. They had dropped their use of false identities with such a small group of participants this week. They could not even discuss the state of Charlie and Green Tech – their informant at Green Tech had not shown. It was impossible for some of the complexes of the Green Tech acreage to be released from their sort-of prisons, as they were barricaded in on all sides by monkeys who had scaled the buildings, hung from the windows, and been a general nuisance. Someone had taught one monkey how to use a spray paint can, which he had miraculously salvaged from a dumpster and had been harassing the an entire building with. It had run out relatively soon, but not before unwilling people had stuck their heads out of windows too soon and received a red streak from the monkey waiting above.

“You’re going to have a busy day tomorrow, Betty.” Jacob laughed at the glare that erupted from the judge.

“I doubt it. Anyone in jail right now for fights will probably drop charges tomorrow. The police will release them, and it will be a quiet day, except for the idiots who want to sue Green Tech for their pride and possessions that aren’t covered under property and car insurance for “Acts of Howler Monkeys”.”

“I’m with Jake. We’ll take bets. See who comes out on top. Because I’m guessing that…” Jessie pondered for a moment before continuing her train of thought, “At least seventy five percent of the cases that you will preside over tomorrow will have something to do with those fucking apes.”

“Monkeys.” Rosemary popped out of her rampage of cuddling with Jack momentarily to contribute. “Apes are different.”

“Sorry. I’m just a waitress.” Jessie offered by way of apology, not serious at all. Rose laughed.

“Costa Rica. Master’s thesis.”

“Nerd.” Jack said quietly to his wife. She cuffed him across the head, eliciting a brief cry of pain from his mouth before she descended onto his mouth, deciding that a kiss was better than the act of lecturing him for calling her bad names.

“Always makes me want to throw up a little bit. Granted, much worse goes on when I tend. But, to each their own. I’m glad you two make each other…”

“Please, not so much with the squishing noises. Educated or not, its gross.” Jessie interjected amid the semi-furious making out session that had begun between the newlyweds, above Jake’s original objection. Jack and Rose broke their kiss, Rose blushing slightly and Jack looking heartbroken at having his favorite toy taken from him.

“Sorry, kids. Jessie’s right. Its gross.”

“I second that – I wouldn’t let my kids act that way in front of a judge.”

“An off duty judge?” Jack smirked at her. “Hey, Hermie,” Jake grimaced at the new found nickname, “Where are those blood bags you promised us? Did the shipment arrive safely? Because monkeys flinging around bags of blood and spattering them everywhere…it just might draw the attention of the town to us more than we would ever want.”

“Oh, they’re in the fridge upstairs. Does everyone want one?”

“Well, yeah. But we’re running low at home.” Jack explained. “Could we take a few to go when we start heading home?”

“Absolutely.”

“I’m good for a while. You gave me way too much last week.” Betty told Jake as he rose. “But a snack would be nice. A negative?”

“Sure. Anyone else have preferences for what I bring back?”

The other three called their preferences to him as he exited the room, heading up the stairs from the basement.

“So, do we have a plan of action?” Jacob the bartender asked. It was later in the evening and about time for everyone to head home, and they had finally come up with a plan of action.

“Yes.” Betty recapped to Jake as all began to gather their things. “When we get a positive response from Charlie, we will ask him to tell his wife he’s going to the bar, and then visit a specific room – which we will rent – at the Star Motel. One of us will serve as a guard on the door after he’s in. We explain – we wear masks or appropriate face cover until he agrees to help us.”

Previous Chapter: Now, For the Fun
Next Chapter: The Hunter
Go Home: Go To Title Page