Out of Control

And now, turning away from the everyday occurrences within Green Tech, we find ourselves examining the very fabric of being of those persons calling themselves by the name of ‘vampires’. For here, not necessarily in the depths of the earth, but intertwined among those respectable and not-so-respectable citizens of Sedona, lay a rather large population, proportionately, of this type of human, suffering from a special condition they only knew as vampirism. This breed of people met near weekly, under the guise of a club which was, hopefully, so boring to all that public announcements could be made without fear of reprieve from the outside community.

The Mystery Book Club, had, until recently, a population of only vampires, as the scientific community had almost no interest in what they advertised – Agatha Christie, among others. With the moving of Angela Rox Johnson’s novels into the forefront of media attention, however, the club had suddenly attracted to itself an unhealthy interest.

This, in fact, posed an interesting problem to the vampire community in Sedona. If Angela Johnson herself, wife of Charlie Johnson, suddenly became interested or involved in the community, would she be converted? Would her involvement be noticed by Charlie? Would Charlie connect the dots? The vampires were currently trying to stay a step ahead of Charlie. They were considering abandoning the revealing of their condition, operation Visibility, but they had already gone through with the second step. The only issue now would be to see if Charlie would notice the letter left in his pocket before his wife did. They could only hope, as it may cause marital problems. And undue, unauthorized suspicion.

But, let us turn from their societal problems and glance instead inside of their bodies. For vampirism, was, indeed, a viable, scientifically documentable disease of the blood and body system. But, at this point in time, neither the vampire community nor the scientific community knew. They kept their distance – vampires, for fear of prosecution via claims of insanity, and scientists, for fear of ridicule by the general scientific community as well as disbelief in the concept, in general.

Those who called themselves vampires were nothing new. Though not the coffin-sleeping, cross-susceptible, fang-bearing creatures they were made out to be, the vampires were definitely odd. For circulating in their blood was a virus bearing similarities to that of HIV. Mutable, the virus not only affected the immune system, causing (don’t laugh at them – they’ll cry) an allergic reaction to garlic, a Vitamin-D deficiency, and decreased hemoglobin and melanin production, but also an unexplainable change in the sexual organs. The virus destroys pathways in the brain that create the possibility of orgasm – and recreates them with an extra requirement: the taste of blood. And so, with a little viral modification and lengthening and sharpening of the incisor teeth, blood play becomes essential to the sexual and reproductive life of a vampire. To sum it up, these were anemic, pale, frustrated individuals who stayed out of the sun because it only aggravated their symptoms, and out of pizzerias and Italian eateries for fear of setting off their near-deathly allergy to garlic.

It is these vampires, which gathered together later that Sunday afternoon to discuss Green Tech, Angela Johnson, and the general state of their small town. Though the vampires were within their own rights to meet in a household, and they had met under the guise of a book club, they still refrained from calling each other by their true names. Instead, Sally and Joe became Sammi and Jerry, and so on. Because it is not significant at this time, we will examine their conversation without the inclusion of their true identities. The leader, Herman, opened discussion.

“Rachel was successful in planting the note on Friday. We are not sure if there has been a response yet, or if knowledge has even been received by the correct individual. We had to deviate from the plan, as our friend seemed to be meeting with his friends, perhaps not even receiving our original note. Time will tell.”

There was some mumbled grumbling as the eight or nine ‘leaders’ as they liked to call themselves began to argue about the validity of Rachel’s inclusion and her competency as a member. Obviously, they couldn’t exclude her, as she was one of them, but she had become so by change, and on purpose, unusual at best. She was the partner of another vampire in the group.

“I think she did rather well, concerning the circumstances.” Herman silenced the grumbling with a single sentence, and turned their attention to more pressing matters. “The Mystery club, I believe, must undergo a name change of some sort. Angela’s presence in town and her relatively new found fame has caused several instances of expressed interest in our whereabouts, meeting times, etc.”

“Well the biggest issue with that,” the vampire called Gretel (her choice!) spoke up, “is that we are in a town full of smart people. That means, of course, that all of the boring things we can find are actually interesting to some portion of the population! If its gulf or examining dead bodies, there’s bound to be a Green Tech employee or Sedona citizen intrigued. Think about it. Golfing? The doctors. Rock climbing? The naturalists. Skiing? The crazy ones.”

“What about rummy?” Rachel’s voice rose out of the back of the room.

“Rummy?” Someone else scoffed. “Who the hell would want a rummy club?”

“Exactly.” Rachel said, triumphantly. A moment of awed silence ensued. “We don’t have a big community of retired people, and the methodology of rummy is that which is boring to our overabundance of smart people. The other people in town will spend more time doing things which are actually interesting, such as golfing, or skiing, or rock climbing.”

“Genius.” Herman said. “All in favor of changing ourselves and purpose slowly to that of the Rummy club?”

All hands rose in agreement. The vampires who chose their own names and met in a fellow’s basement had finally agreed on something. Well, two things. The competency of Rachel – and to learn to play Rummy.

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