No Secrets Here

It was amazing to Leona just how fast news could get around town. Being a close friend of her boss in both the off time and the on the clock time, Leona had kind of figured out the truth behind his sexual likes and dislikes. It was apparent, however, that the rest of the town had not – and the entire Fire Department, it seemed, had felt it necessary to produce versions of the truth after his small kitchen fire on Saturday morning. Come Monday, it was the hushed talk of the town.

Well, not so hushed. The knowing looks that Charlie and his wife had been receiving throughout Sunday as they had gone to file their insurance claim, shop for some new appliances, and generally try to piece what was left of their kitchen back together, had kind of clued them in on the department’s indiscretion. Angela was loving the attention – it only increased the popularity of her novels. Charlie, however, was already bright red upon walking into the office that Monday morning.

“Can I see everyone for a minute, please?” Charlie called out when he had seen everyone arrive. Leona couldn’t hold back her grin as they gathered at the entrance to Charlie’s office.

“Yeah boss?” Half of them chorused, with muffled laughter leaking between the cracks in the already awkward silence.

“Some of you may be aware that I had a small fire in my house this past weekend. It is not an unusual occurrence among residents of this town, but what was unusual about the event was my attire out on my lawn. As I am sure there are already chain mail emails with photographs of this event circulating the office, I will fill those of you who are not aware of the incident, in. My wife and I had had a very long, interesting night. My wife had assumed that I was cheating on her because I was doing some field research regarding issues of which I am not allowed to speak of – yet. Nevertheless, we had established a one hundred percent fidelity agreement between us.”

“I had figured I was home free, because she was the one who confronted me about my supposed indiscretions. However, reviewing the language and text of our bet, it became apparent that the fault was mine, for not informing her accurately of my whereabouts after a direct question. Therefore, it became my duty to accept the punishment. As you all may know,” Charlie coughed loudly over the snickerings of the crowd, “I was forced outside due to a house fire, and was, unfortunately, clad in a French Maid costume. Think of it as an extension of Halloween.” Charlie paused, to allow the information to sink into the minds of those who had not head. “Now,” Charlie cracked a grin, “You are all allowed to make jokes about me – but please, please, I request that you forward all chain emails, tell all jokes, and make all snide comments to my face. I think it’s hilarious, too. Don’’t leave me out.”

“Yes ma’am!” Garry called from the rear of the crowd. Charlie laughed.

“That being said, you may all resume work a little happier, for you now know that your boss is a complete and total dumb ass for setting his kitchen on fire with the coffeemaker.” Charlie said. The crowd began to disperse, extremely lighthearted. If only they had known what had truly transpired.

The French maid costume was punishment for not answering a direct question. But, it wasn’t a bet. It was more of a pre-sex event that had been cut short by the fire alarms going off. He had not had time to change, and simply brought a blanket out. Keen eyes, however, had managed to spot his strange attire before he could change into the clothes in his car. An appropriate cover story though, was sufficient to keep everyone from all sides amused. Angela had loved every minute of it – and when order had been restored to their house, and all company carrying hoses and fire deflective gear had left, the couple had actually finished what they had started. A very rough, very hot, romp in the sack with a teacher punishing a naughty French maid who couldn’t keep the house clean. Add in the humiliation of the entire town knowing, and Charlie had himself a fantasy for many months to come.

That aside, he was unsure as to what to do about the vampires and their intrusion into his personal life. Well, not their – Judy’s intrusion. It was cool that they had had a threesome and all, but it was extremely unprofessional in light of the relationship they were attempting to pursue. He barely remembered the portions of the night before they had removed the blindfold, but from what he had gathered, Judy was a new member that wasn’t quite informed about what they were doing – obviously – or she wouldn’t have had sex with his wife. He hoped that what had transpired that night would be taken lightly, or not discovered at all. It could kind of make a wrong impression, although in hindsight, each member of the threesome could defend their actions, and Angela and Charlie would simply be left to pick up the pieces of the town’s definition of ‘monogamy’.

It was going to be an interesting week. Today, his only goal was to begin writing up the proposal for research regarding those who called themselves vampires. The first step would be to begin blood tests. Unlike most of the other cases that Charlie had dealt with, the vampires were unique in that there was no documented evidence regarding ‘vampires’, symptoms, effects, and cures. If they even wanted to be cured.

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